Welcome back to the Scale Your Small Business Podcast with your host, Jillian Flodstrom. Our guest today is Matthew Hoffman, who is on a mission to help others prioritize the number one relationship in their lives. He’s the author of the new book, Kickass Husband and he’s here to share with us his perspective on tactics you can immediately begin using in your own relationships.
Matthew’s idea for this book had been shelved for some time, but thanks to his accountability group–a cohort of 5 men who share their experiences with a high level of trust and confidence–he decided to write his book following a career change.
Your relationship with your partner has an impact on the work you do, and vise-versa. Matthew calls this “spillover thinking.” This is where the number one relationship in your life spills over into other aspects. The job of the people in the relationship is to pour so much good into that relationship that it spills over into positive manifestations in every other part of your life–business, kids, church, etc. The success of your number one relationship determines the success of other things, that’s why it should always be a priority.
There are 3 C’s that are easy ways to improve that number one relationship: commitment, communication, and conflict resolution. There are the cornerstones of growth for a relationship, Matthew says. However, these key points are nothing without action. In addition, take one small action that will improve your partner’s day in a helpful way.
Empowering one another is an important part of any relationship. The key here is to value your partner’s opinions and beliefs as much as you value your own. You have to be able to accept influence from your partner. This doesn’t mean agreeing on everything, but avoiding invalidation is crucial.
There are a few favorite practices Matthew writes about in his book. One is simple: do one task that you can do for your partner every day. It can be as small as making a cup of coffee–but put in that effort. Another is the “Stand and Deliver” mentality, where he rises and greets his wife whenever they meet. It’s this sort of acknowledgment that makes all the difference.
Matthew co-hosts the Kickass Couples podcast with his partner, where every week they share advice, talk to couples, and really dive into what makes relationships work. In these conversations, they’re going forward and backward, illustrating what love looked like for each guest growing up. From there, we can see how they grew to where they are and do some love mapping.
Your partner may not be your business partner, but they are your partner in life. So value that relationship and communicate with them about your business. They are part of that journey and can offer support in so many ways.
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